God has used you to force me to deal with many things and revealed many truths through your sickness. I am not a poet or great writer these are words that God layed on my heart for all to read:
This is so hard...How did God give up His Son for me?
I have never hated sin as much as I do today...sin is why you are sick my dear son. We live in a fallen sinful world. God have mercy on us!
Ethan I have seen you fighting for your life. You are beautiful my son and tough and I realize that God loves you more than we do. That is why I know God hurts like we do right now. He hurts for you Ethan and for every other single person in the world. That is an unimaginable crushing burden to bare, yet God takes it on.
I have had to deal with my own sin. I have never really understood how to put more trust in God. I have taught sunday school lesson over the past few years on trials and I have never really understood why and how God uses them until now. I almost complained about all the lessons with the same subject matter..."trust God all the time through the good and bad times", why did God keep make me teach the same lesson? Now I know. I am coming face to face with a God that is telling me that I am not in control...He is! It is killing me to learn this and it is making me stronger. Stronger because I have never really understood God's sacrifice even though I have talked about it and shared it with others, it has never been as understood as it is today. You see son you are God's little helper.
I have seen your mother be as strong as ever. I was worried about her and her emotions and I didn't trust God to give her strength I felt like I needed to give strength to her. I thought I was the only one with strength. Today your beautiful mother held my head in her lap while I cried. She quoted scriptures and reassured me. She is a spiritual anchor with strength from God because she love Him and you. I will never underestimate or question her faith again. I Love You Son,Daddy
Starting a New Adventure
1 year ago