Dad's Thoughts

Today as I held my son I prayed and rejoiced and thanked God for all that He had done. He has gone from almost dying to off of all medicines and machines and other than a few monitors is just like any other little boy. I started to think of how much I cherished him and appreciated him. I then was reminded of the story of Abraham and how long that he waited for a son. I imagined Abraham sitting and holding Isaac crying, and praising God for his son. Then I thought about the sacrifice that God asked Abraham to make...to offer his son to him as a sacrifice. Abraham didn't hesitate. He was willing to give the son that he waited so long for right back to God. God showed mercy and didn't require Abraham to sacrifice him but he was willing to. I know that I have come a long way in my walk with Christ over the last few weeks but God reminded me with this story that I still had a ways to go. I have given my son back to God and he has had mercy on us and healed him. But could I make the decision that Abraham made??? NO, not right now and that let's me know that I still need God's instruction in my life and I still have a long way to go in my walk. I desire to grow and learn over the rest of my life and I hope that God never stops teaching me. I also hope that he never puts us through another trial like this again. I give Him all of the Glory for my son hopefully coming home soon. I know that prayer works and thank God every day for all of my family and friends and brothers & sisters in Christ that I don't know that are praying for us.

Helen at the zoo!

Yesterday was Bonnie's birthday!!! When we got up I sang happy birthday to her and took her to a fancy breakfast at McDonald's. I even let her get the Big Breakfast. I told her that we would go shopping anywhere she wanted and she chose SuperTarget (that's why I love her). When we got the the hospital Ethan was smiling at us. I told Bonnie that he knew it was his mom's birthday and that was his present. I decided that I was gonna change my first diaper (since my daughter Helen) today. I was in the middle of changing him and he decided that he wasn't thru. So, two diapers later and another outfit (and many laughs from Bonnie and the nurse) dad finally had to call in for mom to come and finish the diaper. Bonnie and I are getting to feed him his bottle. He is up to 65cc's which is good considering he was at 25cc's 6 days ago. It is hard to wake him up to get him to eat. He has so much fluid still in his chest that he coughs a lot. All of these factors make giving him a bottle very difficult. Bonnie was feeding him yesterday at lunch and he spit up on her and outfit number two. At his 9:00pm feeding Bonnie gave him almost a whole bottle and we didn't have to change him again. He is now off of all IV fluids but they are still keeping his pic line in just in case they need to give him some medicine. His oxygen levels are great. He is an answer to many prayers and Bonnie and I no longer worry about what will happen when we walk in the NICU doors...we are confident that Ethan will be doing great. Many of you have asked about JR...his status has not changed. He is still on ECMO and they are gonna try it for a little while longer. Please continue to pray for him and his parents Rudy & Kimberly. We love you all and hope to see you soon! Kerry and Bonnie

The last two days have been amazing. Helen has been here and we have been consumed with running to the hospital to check on Ethan and playing with Helen. Ethan has done very good eating from a bottle today, he took 35cc's per feeding and he is not having any residuals (that means he is digesting all that he consumes). God blessed us with a beautiful afternoon to take Helen to the zoo. She had a blast and it is great to see her here and having fun. We are torn between wanting to be home with her and needing to stay close to Ethan. We are lucky that we have such loving family and friends that help look after Helen in Dothan. God has healed our son and we give Him all the glory. He has protected our daughter and we give Him all the glory. He has given my wife and I strength when we didn't think that we could go anymore and we give Him all the glory. Please pray that Ethan continues to progress on his breathing and eating. Pray also for the rest of our family as they work very hard to care for Helen. We love you all!

I spoke with Rudy (JR's dad); he said that JR wasn't doing so good. I spoke with him about giving God control of the situation and that sometimes we just don't understand His will. Rudy shared with me that two weeks ago, he gave the whole situation over to God. He said that he has an amazing peace about whatever God does in JR's life. He said "Some people think that I am crazy...they wonder how I can remain so calm." There are many things that you may not understand unless you have given your life to Christ: 1. God gives peace to those who need it, if they are Christians. That peace is incomprehensible unless God has ever given it to you. 2. If you don't understand how great Heaven is, you may think being on earth is better. You see, Heaven is a perfect place with no pain and fellowship directly with God. There is no boredom. There are no tears. God may choose to take some and He may choose to leave some. His will is perfect, but it is sometimes beyond our understanding. This doesn't mean that we shouldn't be sad that our loved ones aren't here with us anymore. It means that if they are in Heaven then they are better off than we are in this sinful world, and they wouldn't come home if given the chance. So give praise to God for those that have gone before us. It is through God's grace that some of my dear friends who have lost sons and daughters are able to have peace. They are some of the greatest examples of God's grace and some of the greatest witnesses that I have ever met. I love you guys...your strength is an inspiration to us all. Your strength and prayers have helped us through this. Rudy understands this grace...DO YOU? If you don't, fall on your knees, and ask God to come into your life so that you can understand this miraculous grace. He gave His Son to die on the cross for all of our sins. All we have to do is accept it and live for Him. Bonnie and I love you all, and our greatest desire is that God be glorified through our situation.

Today I read in Psalm 30:1-5 where David gives praise to God for answering prayers. This reminded me that we must praise God for even the "small" victories that we have. Ethan has come a long way in the 12 days that he has been on this earth. He is off all meds except a vitamin drip and oxygen. He is still pitching the occasional fit that causes his stats to go way up - he can't help it - he is a lot like his mama, and she can pitch a mean fit too!! He is learning to breathe on his own now as the doctors are weaning his oxygen. He takes short breaths because it takes less energy for him to do that rather than breathe deeply. Tonight when Bonnie was rocking him he was breathing much deeper. They let us rock him now as much as we want to - I think that we have already spoiled him, but we don't care. Ethan's NICU stay has helped put our priorities back in order. We will focus on God then family first and foremost from now on. Please pray that Ethan gets the hang of this breathing deep thing and that he will learn to eat from the bottle. Please pray for Helen - she wants to come visit but hasn't been feeling well. If she is sick then she won't be able to come because of the danger of spreading sickness to Ethan through us. Oh and Ethan got to wear clothes tonight - based on the big bag his mama brought for him, he had better get started!! THANK YOU all for your prayers and concerns - God bless!!

In my quiet time today, I studied Psalm 27:14 "Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord." I prayed "Help me Lord to get off of my clock and on your time." Last night, we were getting worried about things that we couldn't control...the length of time we would spend in the NICU, etc. This verse just reminded me to "wait". Today when we walked in to the NICU, Ethan was breathing well and seemed very relaxed. He is still on an oxygen cannula but otherwise breathing on his own - PRAISE THE LORD! We both got to hold and rock him today - he is already spoiled - he loved it and was very content in our arms!! Ethan also had his first bottles of breast milk today, and the nurses let Bonnie and I help feed him. Overall things are going very well, and Bonnie and I are giving God all the glory. Please pray that Ethan continues to breathe well on his own in order to wean from the oxygen cannula and improves on his feedings. We are excited to get in there tomorrow and hold him some more!!